Top Ten Symptoms of Polar Vortex Cabin Fever

You’ve been beaten at Risk so often by your adolescent that your getting a complex
You’re going broke after making so many auto deposits over at pokerstars
Your privates are getting chaffed from…..
Your heating company has called looking for an advance payment
Your spouse has cleaned the house
Your once docile canine has eaten the laundry room door
The little one has actually produced melody on her toy piano
You’ve baked bread
You’ve finally put to work that grocery delivery app
Dum te de dum…..you’ve unboxed and glared intently at your elliptical trainer