Top Ten Symptoms of Polar Vortex Cabin Fever

  1. You’ve been beaten at Risk so often by your adolescent that your getting a complex
  2. You’re going broke after making so many auto deposits over at pokerstars
  3. Your privates are getting chaffed from…..
  4. Your heating company has called looking for an advance payment
  5. Your spouse has cleaned the house
  6. Your once docile canine has eaten the laundry room door
  7. The little one has actually produced melody on her toy piano
  8. You’ve baked bread
  9. You’ve finally put to work that grocery delivery app
  10. Dum te de dum…..you’ve unboxed and glared intently at your elliptical trainer